Discouragement & Purpose

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of YOUR salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.

     Psalm 51:10-13

This Psalm has meant so much to me in so many different ways, at so many different seasons of life, for so many years.  I was in high school back in the late 90's when my youth pastor, Garfield Green, challenged our youth group to memorize part of this Psalm (thanks Gar!).  It always struck me that David asked God to restore to me the joy of YOUR salvation.  It's such a sweet and necessary reminder that there is a Savior and I'm not him!  In the good times and the hard I so often think about me, pray about me, and focus on me.  In reality, all hope, joy, life and peace is not, thankfully, found in me.  Such a humbling and powerful truth.

This week I'm leaning into this passage for 2 specific reasons: discouragement & purpose.

Discouragement:  Those of you who know me best know that it has been a hard 6 months... spiritually & emotionally.  Just hard.  While some of the hard has been a result of frustrating and messy situations, circumstances, and relationships, some of it has just been the result of that scary, intimidating, 4-letter word... life.  In the last 6 months (and I'm estimating here), we've seen more people leave our church due to sin, relational issues, and other disagreements, than ever before. I know this is a part of life and ministry, but I refuse to accept it.  God has hard wired me to care about people and to want for them what they often don't even want for themselves.  Reconciliation, spiritual growth, humility, repentance, and more... much more.

My heart aches for those who were unable to find those things as a part of The Pathway church.  I trust Jesus with each and everyone of these situations, but I'd be lying if I said they didn't affect me personally.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a strong sense of personal responsibility and pastoral failure every time someone walks away from our church.  This along with many changes in my world... going from a 4 person staff to a 2 person staff, having a brand new baby enter our world, seeing many of our long-term partnerships begin (necessarily so) to come to an end, and on and on the list could go... I've just been experiencing some significant discouragement.  Thankfully not depression... but discouragement none-the-less.

But there's hope!  I'm so thankful for the hope of the gospel.  That's where David's Psalm comes into play.  David had screwed up royally (the whole Bathsheba incident) and had every reason to be discouraged.  But his prayer was this ...renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation...  Those are the words, that is the prayer, I'm leaning into during this hopefully short-time of discouragement. Why?  Because God was faithful to David and because God has always been faithful to me.  When I am weak, he makes me strong (2 Corinthians 12:10)!  Truer words have never been written!

Purpose.  This passage of Scripture has also been helping me remember my purpose and the process that often precedes the accomplishment of the purpose.  My entire existence is wrapped up in my relationship with Christ.  I exist by him, through him, and for him.  I believe that with everything I am and I am incredibly thankful for that reality.

Our church's mission statement reflects my own... We exist to reflect God's glory by reproducing disciples.  That's what I want to do more than anything else in the world.  I want to reflect the glory of my creator and reproduce followers of Jesus.  That's it.  Everything in my life is wrapped up in those 2 purposes.  Our family is on mission for the glory of God.  Kelli and I are discipling our kids for the glory of God.  We spend time in christian community and in our local community for the glory of God and the purpose of making disciples.  So when that doesn't happen, it's incredibly difficult.

This year The Pathway has baptized 6 people and you better believe I praise God for each and everyone of the six.  But 6 is not enough.  If my purpose as a disciple is to make more disciples.  If our purpose as a church is to make more disciples.  If I really believe making more disciples is what reflects God's glory in the greatest possible way, then 6 isn't enough!  We can't be satisfied with six.  We just can't.  I just can't.

And that's when I have to preach to myself the truth of Psalm 51.  After David cries out to the Lord to restore to me the joy of your salvation...  he then proclaims the inevitable result of that restoration of joy.  Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will return to you.

God doesn't operate off of a formula.  It's not as simple as a+b=c.  If it was, I'd have it mastered.  But David was a man after God's heart according to the Scriptures and David's prayer indicates that a restoration of joy from God's salvation can lead to effective disciple-making.  When joy is restored, sinner's are converted.

That's my prayer this week.  Lord Jesus, restore to me the joy of YOUR salvation... Then I will teach transgressors YOUR ways, and sinners will be converted to YOU.

Please pray for me

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account...  -Hebrews 13:16

To lead a local church is an incredible, intimidating, exhilarating, terrifying, and humbling calling and responsibility.  It's a role that for a long time I did not feel like I was called to play.  But by grace alone, the Good Shepherd lovingly and clearly led me to not only plant, but pastor The Pathway church.  That Jesus would allow me to do what I do still leaves me very much in awe and when I take the time to stop and reflect, I'm so very grateful for the role God has called me to play.

The Pathway church is a blessing to me.  The people exhaust me, frustrate me, intimidate me, cause me to stay up at night worrying, praying, crying, and praying some more.  But they also give me so much hope.  Hope in the power of life change.  Hope in the church as gospel proclaimers and disciple-makers.  Hope that an Acts 2 type of church is still possible.  Hope that authentic, transparent, biblical community is real and can still not only happen, but flourish in 21st century America.  I'm so blessed by and thankful for The Pathway.

By God's grace, from the beginning of this church, I had more leaders than I can remember instill in me the importance of retreating annually for the purpose of prayer, allowing Jesus to refresh my own soul, more prayer, and planning.  It's something that is only possibly by the grace of God and through the generosity of The Pathway partners that I can do this.  But I believe it has been crucial to my own spiritual health (I know this because around September or October every year my wife starts asking me if I have my retreat planned yet... as if I'm getting a little on edge or even grumpy! =-) and by extension the health of our church.

I share all this for the purpose of asking you, if you are able, to stop and pray for me over the next couple of days.  Here are some specific things you can pray for...
     -Pray for my beautiful and loving wife as she is at home with Jagen, Rylan, & Hazel.
     -Pray that I would be able to not only slow down physically, but slow down mentally and  
      emotionally enough to really just sit at the feet of Jesus.
     -Pray that God would give me clear direction for preaching in 2016
     -Pray that God would give me clear direction on how to use mission teams from our partner
      churches in Texas and Oklahoma
     -Pray for God to really give me clear direction on how to invest more deeply and effectively in the
      men in our church.  We've got some incredible men and I strongly desire to lead and shepherd
      them well.
     -Pray for God's will to be done in and through me on this retreat.

Thank you all!

6 years

I am sitting at a coffee shop.  It's something I've done quite a bit of over the last 6 years.  When I moved to Washington I didn't even like coffee!  Now I love it!  Some might even use the word addiction!  But as I sit here, with my cup of coffee and my computer, I am so thankful to God for all that he has done over the last 6 years.  I thought I would just share a few things I'm thankful for with you...

1. God gave us a home.  Many of you can probably relate to this, but I've always been nomadic.  I'm an Air Force brat.  We were constantly moving... and I really do look back on that with fond memories.  Home was family and family was home.  That is important and I'm so glad I learned that at an early age.  But there's something unique and special about being able to call a specific city... home.  Kelli and I lived in Oklahoma for a time, but we knew it was temporary.  We lived in Snoqualmie for a time, but again, we knew it was an apprenticeship.  It was temporary.  We even got a little nervous about finding where God was calling us to plant our lives.  We just didn't know how on earth we would be able to find a city and make it home.  But then God showed us Tacoma.  And we learned quickly that we don't make a city our home... God does that.  He put us in Tacoma and he put Tacoma in us.  In 6 years we've fallen in love with a place and people.  We've purchased a house.  We've birthed... excuse me... Kelli has birthed 3 beautiful Tacomans.  God gave us a home and for that I am so thankful.

2. God saved my children.  I know this sounds a little extreme and I don't want to be over-dramatic.  But as I look back on the birth of my first 2 children, I realize how naive we were to the health issues they faced.  They were born at 2lbs 14 oz. and 3lbs 14oz.  They were NICU babies for 6 weeks!  They would literally forget to breathe and alarms would go off in the hospital and we learned, with the help of the nurses, how to "remind" them to breathe.  We spent our first Christmas as a family of 4 in Tacoma General hospital.  Over the first 2 years of their lives they battled more health issues than I can even remember... MRSA, Scarlet Fever, severe ulcers, a hernia, and for Jagen what was eventually diagnosed as Fructose Intolerance.  There was a day when they would not have survived all this.  But God has allowed humanity to progress to the point where they could not only survive, but thrive.  Today they are perfect.  Well, not perfect, but perfectly healthy.  You would never know they had any issues.  You would never know they were preemies.  God saved my children and for that I am so thankful.

3. Living on the corner of 19th and L.  It has become a joke in my family that Kelli should write a book entitled "Living on the corner of 19th and L."  We had no idea what we were doing when we moved into that house.  It was in the heart of the Hilltop, a neighborhood whose reputation is much worse than its reality, but is still far different than the suburban life to which we were accustomed.  19th St was on one of the busiest in town.  It was kitty-corner (that's right... it's not catty-corner... 6 years has converted me) to the "scary" corner store where lots of "stuff" happens.  We learned quickly that we didn't need cable, we could just look out the window!  We learned what to do when there's a shooting and the police tie the caution tape to your fence (What did we learn?  Call your husband and let him know you're ok!).  We learned that when you hear a gun shot, you don't just ignore it, you look and you help.  We learned that if a drug dealer sets up shop on your corner, you just ask him to move and he will... crazy!  We learned to love our neighbors in that house.  We learned that on one block you will find recovering addicts, "normal neighbors," gossips, biker gangs, homosexual couples, hurting people, renters, home-owners, and they all have one thing in common.  They need the gospel.  Some know it.  Some don't.  But they all need it.  God, in his sovereignty, placed us on the corner of 19th and L and for that I am so thankful.

4. God birthed a church.  Some friends of ours from college are planting a church just south of us in Olympia and they had their first worship gathering yesterday.  My heart was full of emotions as they posted prayer requests and updates, fears and excitements, plans and pictures.  I remember those days.  I remember the pressure.  I remember the anxiety.  I remember the hope.  I remember the failures.  I remember the successes.  But what I'm most thankful for is that in the midst of it all, God birthed a church.  Not just a bible study.  Not just a worship gathering... a church.  We're messy. We're ridiculous. We're hilarious.  We're broken.  We're selfish.  We're healing.  We're maturing.  We're learning.  We're growing.  We stumble.  We fall.  We get up.  We help each other up.  We celebrate.  We cry.  We party.  We pray.  We evangelize.  We worship.  We disciple.  We mourn.  We love.  We hate.  We are a church.  And God birthed us.  We came to Tacoma and this particular church did not exist.  And now, by God's grace, it does.  God birthed a church and for that I am so thankful.

6 years.  Wow.  I just can't believe it.  What will the next 6 years bring?  I don't even want to know!  I don't think I could handle it.  But my plan and my prayer is to continue to walk in faith with my family, trusting that God will show up and do what he always does... immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine according to the power that is at work within us!

Thanks for journeying with us.  We love you.  Please keep praying.  God's not through with us yet!

It's time to stop crawling and start walking!

I love my church.  It's that simple.  Just like anything a person loves, the church can drive me crazy, annoy me, frustrate me, and even make me mad!  But I love her.  I love the people that make up The Pathway church.  I love how far God has brought us, how we've grown, how we've matured, how we've changed and adapted, how we've stumbled, how we've fallen on our faces, and how God has pulled us back up every time.  I love my church.

One of the things I've been anticipating for a long time now is the year or season in the life of our church when we really have to own this thing.  Does that make sense?  Being a church plant, supported by over a dozen other churches, and even more individuals and families (primarily form the south), we've been able to focus on outreach, evangelism, discipleship, and over all gospel saturation for almost 6 years now.  During that time we've consistently been prayed for and funded by our partner churches.  Not to mention all the ground breaking and seed sowing that has been done by short term mission teams.

Thankfully those partnership are not finished, but they are changing.  For years now I've been telling Kelli, this may be the year that our funding slows down.  But for years, it hasn't happened.  Well, this is the year.  I began getting calls around the time churches are working on their budgets, and they came in bunches.  One of the reasons I love our partners is that these calls did not come with out warning and every call was filled with compassion and care.  Not wanting to cripple us, but knowing it is time for our supporters to begin pulling back.  They are full of wisdom and they know it's time, slowly but surely, for this toddler church to begin taking steps on her own.

It's scary.  It's exciting.  It's time.

And it's more than just outside support.  Over 3 years ago we hit a wall of growth at about 20 people. We just couldn't grow past that.  By God's grace, we were able to bring on several staff people to put time and energy into developing aspects of our church... Kids Ministry, Leadership development, etc.... that would never have developed as quickly without their undivided time and attention.  But those staff had very specific goals in mind and they knew, from the beginning, that they would eventually step out of paid staff positions and the church would have to be the church.

Well, I would be lying if I didn't say I was nervous.  But I believe God has birthed this church.  I believe the Holy Spirit fills this church.  And I believe we are ready to own the vision God has called us to.  We're ready to become a self-sustaining, autonomous, reproducing church.

Pray for us.
It's time... spiritually, financially... it's time.
For God's glory!

Writer's Block

I haven't been sure what to write lately on the blog.  There's so much in my heart and my mind but as the church grows and time passes, I feel like more and more of what I want to share involves real stories of really people who deserve and desire real privacy!  That means a lot of what is on my heart and my mind has to stay there.  With that being said, I'm going to share a few words that are pressing in my soul right now and hope that by expounding a little bit on those words the Lord might show you how to pray for our family, our church, and our incredible city.

Rylan & Hazel #sisters

LIFE: Where to begin with this word.  More than just life... new life... is something that we have experienced lately.  Hazel Joy Higginbotham, my absolutely beautiful (in that small, scrunchy, alien baby sort of way) daughter was born healthy and relatively happy on August 31st 2015 at about 2:00am.  Kelli was a champ.  An absolute rock star.  She was strong, brave, and she persevered through a really, really, long 24 hours.  Seeing new life is too much for words.  It was breath-taking and all the praise goes to Jesus.

PAIN:  We've been through some hard times in our church family.  We've got people who are hurting.  Sin has been rearing it's ugly head and wreaking havoc the way only sin can do.  Marriages are feeling the tug and tear of Satan.  We've had people decide to move on from The Pathway for a variety of reasons and of course that causes me to doubt my own leadership in more ways than I thought possible.  Although I know more often than not it's for the best, it doesn't make it any easier.  We don't just say "church family."  We mean it.  Every person that is connected to our church and especially those I'm currently in or have previously been in close community with, is like a brother or a sister, a son or a daughter (that makes me feel old).  To see anyone leave our local expression of God's family is just hard.  I'm thankful though that the Kingdom family is bigger than the local family.  God has a way of bringing hope and healing through that reality.

SALVATION: Last year we did not see very many people come to faith in Jesus.  We did not see very many baptisms.  While I know God is sovereign... I really do believe that... I also know that good trees bear good fruit.  Our vision is reproduction and we did not see much reproduction last year.  This year has been tough as well and we have felt Satan attacking.  But finally... recently... it seems that salvation is beginning to spring up from the ground once again.  People are being saved.  People we have been praying about for months and even years.  God is at work.  There are still specific people who I believe are on the verge of trusting Jesus.  Please pray for a Holy Spirit break through.

MEN: I know "laziness" and "men" are synonymous in the minds of many people.  For so long in our church we were filled with men but laziness embodied those men and our women were driving the ship.  We still have a long way to go, but slowly and surely we are seeing men grow in their relationships with Jesus, step up to the plate in the realm of leadership and discipleship.  Somehow I believe God wants me to do a better job of investing in our men.  Please pray for our men.  Pray that they would love Jesus a lot and want to know him more.  Pray that I would effectively show our men that I care about them and that I want to help them grow in Jesus.  Pray that I would find effective ways to connect with our men and that together we would be able to reach more men in our city with the gospel.

Leaders:  It seems like I'm always talking about leaders, a lack of leaders, a desire for more leaders, etc.  Well, I've come to realize that as long as were growing and making disciples, pursing growth and pursuing making disciples, we're going to crave more leaders.  With that being said, we have seen God provide leaders, grow leaders, mature leaders, and reproduce leaders over the last several years.  In fact, our Leadership Retreat is next weekend (please pray for that time) and all of our Intentional Community Leaders will be in attendance!  No one has plans, vacations, work, etc. keeping them from attending.  14 Leaders, 9 children and 2 very gracious childcare workers gathering together for rest, worship, praying, planning and training!  It's going to be great!

Growth:  That's what I desire.  Personal growth.  Corporate growth.  And most of all, Kingdom growth.  Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  That's my prayer.  Thank you for your love, support, encouragement and belief in the God who has called us to make disciples in Tacoma!

Wow! God does pretty cool stuff.

I absolutely love Pathway baptisms!  By God's grace they seem to always be personal, powerful and full of life.  They are a celebration of new life in Christ and there is nothing worthy of greater celebration than the Holy Spirit regenerating the heart of a person.  God is so good and so gracious and I pray that we get to celebrate baptism more and more and more over the coming days, weeks, months and years.  I pray that baptism becomes contagious.  I pray that people are motivated by the picture of baptism to go out and make disciples of their family, friends, co-workers and neighbors so that we can worship Jesus through baptism more and more.  It's beautiful.  It's powerful.

Yesterday we saw two amazing things happen in our Sunday gathering.  First, we baptized a friend of mine that I honestly never thought we would see come to trust in and follow Jesus including making the bold statement to be baptized.  My friends name is Mat and I'm pretty sure I met him around 4 years ago.  He has some extremely close friends, family for all intents and purposes, that we got to know through a series of circumstances.  Over the years we baptized quite a few people that Mat was extremely close to and he always came in support of them, but never really seemed open to coming into the life of the church himself.

Most recently his nephew Devon gave his life to Jesus and was baptized.  Mat and his girlfriend Antigony came to Devon's baptism just to support him in this major life event.  I'm pretty sure it was one of the first times Antigony had ever been to a church service.  Well, the Holy Spirit did what the Holy Spirit so often does, he fell on our congregation in a powerful way and specifically on Mat and Antigony.  He spoke to them through the faithful testimony of their middle school aged nephew and their lives have not been the same since!

Antigony was baptized in June and they have stepped deeply into the life of our church through Intentional Community.  To be quite honest, it's difficult now to picture the church without them.  Mat has been being discipled in a variety of ways and has wanted to make sure of his commitment to Christ before following in baptism.  This Sunday was finally the day.  He invited friends and family, we shared his testimony and he confessed with his mouth, "Jesus is Lord!"  It was incredibly worshipful and I'm still in awe of the life change God brings through death and resurrection of his Son Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit.  All glory is due to our God who loves to save!

The second incredible thing that happened yesterday was a spontaneous baptism.  We usually don't open up baptism to people on the spot because we've learned that it doesn't usually lead to disciples for us.  That's not at all to say that it doesn't for others, but for us it just hasn't been fruitful for the Kingdom.  But after I got done preaching this Sunday I went to sit down in my sweet and a young man named Corey grabbed me.  He's probably in his mid-twenties.  He said, "Will you baptize me today?"  He's a close friend of a gal in our church and has been throughs me incredibly difficult times.  We talked, we prayed, and he confidently professed Jesus as Lord!  We got to baptize Corey... in his regular clothes... freezing and dripping afterward... and it was a powerful, bold, and beautiful testimony of the life change that only comes through Christ.  We didn't have to invite Corey to be baptized, just as the Ethiopian declared to Philip after trusting the gospel, “See, here is water! yWhat prevents me from being baptized?” Corey's response to the gospel was to seek out obedience to Jesus.  I stand amazed and pray for more and more people to come to Christ and be baptized.

Please pray for Mat, Antigony and Corey as they learn what it is to be a disciple of Jesus.  As they feel the weight and the burden along with the joy and surrender of taking up their cross daily and following Jesus.  And in all things, to God be the glory, the praise and the honor forever and ever.  Amen!

An Insider Perspective

We have reached the end of what I like to call our "church summer."  We've seen 8 mission teams come and go, we've hosted 4 block parties, launched what we hope to be our first annual soccer camp, and worked alongside 7 PHENOMENAL interns!  I'm now, thanks to the generosity of one of our partner churches, sitting in the kitchen of a rented house in Nashville, TN preparing to attend the SEND North America conference.  A few days before leaving I asked one of our interns, Paige Edwards, to write about her summer with The Pathway so I could share it with you.  I hope her perspective is an encouragement to you...

Intern Paige

I’ve been back in the Midwest for approximately 32 hours, and I can think of nothing else but my summer being a student missionary in the Pacific Northwest. I think of Tacoma, from the Hilltop to North End. I think of The Pathway Church, and the family I didn’t know I had there until I arrived. I think of the Interns, the best team I could have ever asked for. And I think of Jesus and the way he used this city to stir up my heart. 

I think of things I Learned. 

I learned that the Acts 2 church does exist, and it looks very different than what I could of ever imagined. I saw the church together, but it wasn’t necessarily in the church building. It was at the park, by the water, on the streets, in the houses, and it was together on Sunday mornings at a building that they gathered in to worship. I saw the church meeting together, loving together, and giving together. Meeting together in Intentional Communities at least one time a week and sometimes more. I saw them loving together, on each other during tough days and on their community every day. I saw them giving together. Giving their time, money, food, and cars. To each other, to us interns, and to people they barely knew. 

I learned more about grace than I ever could explain. As hard as this summer was, my head was that much harder. I was determined week one that I could do my job on my own, without help so that I wouldn’t be a hindrance to anyone. It was in that weakness and stubbornness the Lord showed me his grace yet again. It was in those holes, that he showed me that even after all these years I am still in great need of his grace. And after seeing my continual need of grace, I saw his great love in giving it to us.

I think of Love.

At the Nativity House. (The Nativity House is a day shelter for the homeless and also has emergency overnight housing)

Day after day we were enamored  by people that walked through that building. From 89 to 23, I saw people in all areas of life.  And every single one of them solidified the love of our Father.  I saw the way Mara, the director of the Nativity House poured his love out over them. I saw the way Johnny the chef acted in the Lords love through his words, prayers and exhortation of all the guests that came into his contact.  And I saw the way that love gave light to the eyes of the hopeless, and I saw the way that love gave the next step to those who are stigmatized to be at the end of their means. 

I think of The Pathway. 

They lifted us interns back to God consistently. They guided us, they nurtured us, and they loved us in a way that I can scarcely explain. They treated us as family, taking us in for meals, laundry and so much more. They showed us community in a way not seen by many. They made a summer internship, a lifelong friendship.

I think of the Interns

I have never ever worked with a group that has loved so well. And from the very beginning Adam (The Pathway's Associate Pastor and overseer of the summer interns) told us that he didn’t choose one member of this group, but that God chose us all. This I believe because of the way our dynamic was so beautifully organized. From our desires and gifts to our very working styles it all just fit. I saw them express their love in music, service, leadership and action. They loved selflessly and they loved endlessly. They loved through weakness, stubbornness, and they loved in times when it was hard to love at all. 

And I think of Humility and Redemption. 

When I first came to the Pacific Northwest I guess I internally believed that I was going to a place where Jesus wasn’t found. That I was going into the dark. And that it was up to me to save them. That completely changed the day I stepped of

f that plane. I came to a city alight with the redeeming love of Christ. A city that like all of us, that is just a work in progress. God humbled me, and he encouraged me. I saw that he chose me to help serve a city that he has already saved. A city that he is already doing the work for and a city that is growing brighter as the days pass by. He showed me that just as he has chosen me, that he has chosen them. He has chosen them and he will continue to seek after them waiting for them to come home.

Tacoma was nothing like what I expected it to be. And for that I am so thankful. Thankful for God to use the unexpected of this lovely northwest city to teach me, love me, humble me, redeem me, and change me. I will never know to what extent God used me to bring change to Tacoma, but I can see for certain the way God used Tacoma to bring change to me.